Viral Week is our weekly round-up of the weekend’s trending memes, humor, rumor, gossip, and everything else Chinese netizens are chatting about.

This week, TikTok under investigation, overzealous finger-chopping, subcontracted murder conspiracies, and ecstatic groom:

Slowing Tik-Tok

Popular video-sharing app TikTok is reportedly being reviewed for national security by the US government due to being owned by Chinese firm Bytedance.

Seaweed cure

The Chinese government approved a new drug, based on a sugar found in seaweed, that is said to have the potential to reverse Alzheimer’s disease.

Celebrity panned

Following the sensational failure of their latest ad, which featured viral lipstick vlogger Li Jiaqi cooking and getting egg stuck all over a non-stick pan, the Zhejiang Cooker King company pointed fingers at Li’s lack of cooking skills rather than any defect in the product (though they later claimed they were misquoted).

Mama drama

Tian Xinju, the Shandong woman who recently became China’s oldest mother at age 67, has come under speculation that her birth may violate China’s family planning policy, as she already has a son and a daughter.

Murder for subcontract

Six men have been arrested in Guangxi in a bizarre serial murder-for-hire plan: One man hired a hitman to kill a business rival, who took a cut and outsourced the job to another hitman, who took another cut and outsourced it to another, and so on, until the last contracted killer reached out to his mark to suggest faking his death.

Courageous chop

After being bitten by a snake, a Zhejiang man bravely chopped off his index finger to slow the spread of the venom—unnecessarily, doctor later told him, as most snake venoms aren’t very fast-acting (and they couldn’t re-attach his finger since he didn’t keep it).

High-cost homework

Perhaps due to high academic pressure, a boy was seen doing his homework during superstar Jay Chou’s Jinan concert last month. With tickets costing between 500 RMB to 2,000 RMB, and selling out in 12 seconds, disappointed fans who couldn’t attend the concert have dubbed the boy’s assignment “the most expensive homework in history.”

Seventh time’s the charm

An emotional groom in Anhui, surnamed Guo, was caught on video sobbing, “It’s so difficult for me to get married…I have been a best man seven times!” Netizens have since sent their well-wishes to the 30-year-old and his new bride.

Dedicated delivery

A food delivery driver was lauded for climbing Taishan Mountain to deliver a fruit basket to a tired client, commenting “I guess I can get some exercise, too.”
Another dedicated driver in Lanzhou, Gansu, reported to the police the theft of a meal that turned out to have been ordered by a police officer—leading the police to track down the thief, and netizens to joke that the case would never have been pursued if it wasn’t the policeman’s own meal.

Cover image from VCG